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 1 Never go to bed after you’ve applied

pimple cream.

 10  made coffee while I was still half-asleep.

  9   “I’ll just do my makeup in the car like a

dumbo.”

  8   “I picked up the salt jar.”

  7   “Apparently, my scissors couldn’t handle

this bottle.”

  6   “I mean, I didn’t want to eat it anyway.”

  5   “It’s 3 a.m. Everyone’s asleep and I’ve

been trying to get out of my room for 30

minutes.”

  4   “My cola exploded inside the freezer.”

  3   “I knew those pancakes smelled weird.”

  2   “I guess it’s time for a new pepper

grinder.”

  1   “My husband just wanted some

crackers and cheese.

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